A Case of Really Awful Social Networking in Business

"Really Awful Social Networking in Business"

I'm writing this on Sunday Feb 7.  I'm starting with the date because it's important to the story...  It's just starting to snow here in CT.  My wonderful wife is at work, and I'm having a relaxing morning in the office.


I open my email and see that there's a private message sent to me from someone in the "Alignable" business network. I recognize the name.  I knew that I had connected with her last year. 

Alignable - for those of you that may not know, is a business only social network.  That means it is business people connecting to other business people.  You can recommend businesses there, you can meet people there, you can waste as much time there as you want.  I opened this account with Alignable probably 4 years ago.  It was recommended to me by a sales person from Comcast.  For the past four years it has done me ABSOLUTELY NO GOOD. Every week I get emails that say that people want to connect with me.  RIGHT.....  Every week I'm told that people are looking at my profile...  (Oh yeah - and if you want to find out WHO is looking - well that'll cost you extra).  No thanks...

Here's what the message said:
"Hello Jerry, can you vote for me in the Bloomfield Local Business Person of the Year?  Closing 02/05/21

Before I go on with this story...  I must say that as I wrote that last paragraph, I was reminded of the jokes that end with "And then the fight started....  "  I googled them and found a few to share with you before we get back to today's story.  Here they are:

A woman is standing, looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, "I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment."
The husband replies, ‘Your eyesight’s damn near perfect.’
And then the fight started…..

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for
Social Security.   The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.  The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened my shirt revealing My curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is Proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application.  When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office.
She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten Disability, too.'
And then the fight started...

I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary? "
It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.
"Somewhere I haven’t been in a long time!" she said.
So I suggested, "How about the kitchen?"
And that’s when the fight started….

Back to the story....

Let's remember what that email said, shall we?
"Hello Jerry, can you vote for me in the Bloomfield Local Business Person of the Year?  Closing 02/05/21

What could possibly be wrong with this request?

1)  I think there should be a new line after "Hello Jerry," and capitalize the "C" in can.

2)  Can I vote for you "IN" Bloomfield Local Business Person of the Year? 
I doubt it.  Am I supposed to go FIND this person, and surgically place the vote inside them?  I think that would hurt! 

3)  If I'm not going to find them and vote "IN" them, exactly where should I place this vote?

4)  What is closing on 02/05/21?  Your business? 

5)  "CAN" I vote for you?  Sure! 
"WILL" I vote for you?  NO!

6)  I'm reading this email on SUNDAY and the deadline to vote was LAST FRIDAY.  (sorry I don't look at my spam folder every day)

Are you ready for what REALLY frosted my cookies? (And now you know the reason for the image!)

When you get a message from someone in this network, it shows you the entire history of your conversations. 
Last August I wrote this: Hey XXXXX...  I got a recommendation to connect with you.  I've done a lot of work with auto repair shops.  Let's connect...

Two weeks later she connected.  Didn't say a word.  Just hit the "connect button".

I then sent a message thanking her for connecting, and please feel free to reach out if you need my help.

Six months later I get this request to make her Local Business Person of the Year?  We've never met.  She's never said a word to me.  I have not done any business with her.  I have no idea if her business is any good at all.  But she wants my vote?  Nah! 

Now that I'm letting it out...  Don't post something on Facebook and say things like:  "My real friends will repost this."  OR...  "Show me that you read the entire post by sending your latest photo."  I don't have time for that junk!  I've got to get back to my game of Angry Birds!

Till Next Week!