Dad's Marriage Jokes


My dad knew how to tell a joke.  There's a skill involved in telling a joke, and my dad had that skill mastered.  When he told a story or a joke, his face lit up and you knew that he enjoyed every second of it.  And everyone that heard the joke loved it too. 

Often, you couldn't tell if he was about to tell a joke, or some deep truth.  You just wouldn't know until he finished. 

If you're old enough to remember Red Skelton - you could easily see Red delivering these jokes.  Red was my dad's absolute favorite comedian.  We watched his show every week.  I'm pretty sure this is where Dad learned how to tell a joke so well.

Dad was an absolute master of timing.  He would watch to see if you were "hooked" enough on the story, before he turned it around on you.  He had perfect timing.  A pregnant pause - just long enough to trap you - and then - KABOOM - the punch line.

I'll give you the jokes in order of my least to most favorite.  The first would make me smile - the second - laugh out loud, and the third was one of my favorite jokes of all time.  I use it every chance I get.

It's interesting that the jokes are also in order of how long that pause would be from setup to punchline...  I'll use asterisks to give you the length of the timing. 

This first joke is the one he would use when the conversation happened to move to marriage (e.g. someone is getting married, got married, considering marriage).   

  • "Marriage is a GREAT Institution! * * *
    (and he'd nod his head like a statesman)
    If someone needs to be Institutionalized".
The second joke is the one where you know it's a joke, but you can't guess what's coming...  It's superb....   
  • "Well, ya know....  Marriage is like a HOT BATH * * * * *
    After you've been in it a while? * * *  It ain't so hot!"
This third joke is the one dad would use when someone asked him how long he and my mom had been married.  I LOVE THIS JOKE...  He'd say....
  • "We've been married 45 WONDERFUL Years! * * * * * *
    "52 Total".....
There's no copyright on these jokes.  Use them as you can to bring joy to the people you know.  I would like to think that each telling of these jokes attributed to my dad would make him happy, knowing they're still here - being spread in a world that needs a good sense of humor.